Today was my 11 mile training run. The run I have been dreading for 2 weeks. I don’t know why I was so scared of this run. I have run 10 miles before. Why did a 1 mile difference bother me so much?
I’m still not sure. However, I know that Saturday’s run was so awful because my legs are still sore. The massage from the day before was absolutely no help. So I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it.
I spent a few hours on Saturday with family. It helped to take my mind off of things. I left around 8 PM and I don’t remember the rest of the night. I must have knocked out because all I remember is my alarm going off at 4 AM.
There I was laying in bed contemplating if I should just skip the 11 mile run. That number was still scary. I got up and started getting ready.
It takes me a solid hour to get ready between taking medication, getting dressed, putting on compression socks (because that’s a separate workout!), taking pre-workout, eating a small snack and warming up. Today, it took about an hour and a half! LOL. I seriously took my time.
I told myself, this run is inevitable. Take it slow. Don’t worry about pace. Just get it done. At the beginning of this journey, the goal is and always will be to finish. There was no difference today. I’m not in it to be an elite runner. I’m in it for how it makes me feel. The euphoria and rush you get from accomplishing a major goal. For the bling. For the views. For the sheer enjoyment.
So off I went at the butt crack of dawn. Actually before dawn… 5:30 AM. I ran around my community development. It’s about a 3 mile radius more or less. So I went round in circles. It’s the safest place for me to run in at the time I run, which is always at the butt crack of dawn.
The first mile, felt so long and my legs felt so heavy. Right away I said, I can’t do this. I kept going.
I let the thoughts flow freely from my mind. I cursed out loud many, many times throughout this. I sang along to songs that came up. I thought about the lyrics. I looked at the houses in my neighborhood and wondered why some streets were darker than others. Why some houses still had Christmas decorations up even though we are halfway through January. I got startled a few times by the lone cars passing me by. I had to say no to playtime with a very cute Golden Retriever that wasn’t on a leash and just wanted to play. I scared a few cats.
As all of this happened, the miles were zooming by. Even though at the time they did not feel like they were zooming. In the moment, they were never ending. Slow, annoying and perpetual.
… And then, my app said 11 miles. I was done. I had done it. I finished!
I walked over to my favorite spot in the community and I started crying. Happy tears. Tears of joy. It was just one of those moments when you’ve told yourself that you can’t and you just proved yourself wrong. I can do it. I can do hard things. I. Am. A. F*#$%^&. Badass! I stretched, I soaked up the moment and then walked home.
I feel ready for the Fitbit Miami Half Marathon. As long as I keep the same mentality, I will be good to go. Let’s do this!